Subject: RECALL NOTICE
Important Recall Notice
The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, 'Subsequential Internal, Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as S-I-N, as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgment.
Some other symptoms:
(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and
joy
(e) Selfish, or violent,
behavior
(f) Depression or confusion
in the mental component
(g) Fearful
(h) Idolatry
The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The number to call for the recall station in your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R
Once connected, please upload
your burden of SIN
by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E.
Next, download J-E-S-U-S
into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN
defect is, the JESUS
repair will replace it with:
(a)
Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Long-suffering
(e) Gentleness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faith
(h) Meekness
(i) Temperance
Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call
on J-E-S-U-S.
DANGER: The human units not
receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The
SIN defect must not enter heaven or else heaven will be infected.
Author: The Creator
Author of this piece...unknown.