Some people insist that 2 + 2 = 4.  But 2 + 2 does not have to equal 4.  Sometimes 2 + 2 can equal 3 or sometimes 2 + 2 can equal 5; or any other value.  Sometimes I feel like 2 + 2 = 3.  For example, when I go to the gas station and I top my car off for $4.  I go into the station and give the number of my pump.  The clerk says “that will be $4”.  I count out one dollar – two dollars and again I count out another one dollar – two dollars.

I tell the clerk “here’s $5, please give me my $1 in return change.”  Sometimes I get a clerk who gives me back $1.  Sometimes I get a clerk who is rigid and who insists that there is no return change for the $5 I gave them.  It usually only takes a few minutes for me to explain that on that particular day, I gave them $5 with the two sets of two dollars.

Once I got a clerk who took my $2 + $2 and the clerk asked me for another $1.  I asked him how he figured that?  He said that to him on that particular day with me, 2 + 2 = 3, so he needed another $1 to make $4.  I had no good argument, so I gave him another $1.  You see, sometimes 2 + 2 may equal 3.  We both parted as very happy people.

The problem with realists is that they believe that 2 + 2 always equals 4 and that there are no exceptions to that rigid rule.  I hate realism and I hate realists.  When someone comes up to me on the street and asks me if he can borrow $4, I sometimes give him 3 one dollar bills and then another 3 one dollar bills. I tell him I gave him $4.  Sometimes they thank me, but most of the time, they just take the money and walk away or run.  I feel so good when I do this.

Once, the same person asked me for $4 just one day after I gave him two sets of 3 one dollar bills.  I pulled out 3 one dollar bills and gave it to him.  He said that was only $2, but I explained that today, it was $4.  He said “O.K.” and he walked away without saying anything else.  I felt so good that he accepted my $4 without arguing with me and I was happy to be dealing with someone who knows that reality is optional.  I call myself an optionalist and my philosophy of life is optionalism. It is a great philosophy of life to hold to.

People get along better when you are optional with them.  I only vote for optionalists when I cast my vote in the voting booth. If more people would do the same, we could make reality obsolete and whatever we said was true at any given moment would be the truth.  Why can’t everbody see the beauty and the freedom in that system of philosophy? Optionalists really care about other people.  Realists are mean-spirited and only benefit themselves by setting up so many rules and “standards of reality” that the rest of us feel uncomfortable with!

Realists make me sick. They believe in a whole set of restricting viewpoints like 2 + 2 = 4.  They never believe that 2 + 2 might equal 5 or that sometimes it might equal 6 or 7 or whatever they feel like at the time. These people are sick in the head. They use their rules and their view of reality to keep the rest of us enslaved and oppressed. Realism makes many children in schools feel that they are wrong with some of their answers. This lowers their self-esteem and that bothers me.  These realists take advantage of the rest of us by being so rigid and realistic.

I have a dream!  Hell, someday where I’m at, all people will become optionalists and everyone will get along by giving everyone what they want and accepting anything others are willing to give for it, when they are willing to give anything in return.  Everyone should be able to get what they want, whenever they want it.

I used to have a daughter, but someone wanted her.  So I gave her to him.  She was only 12 years old and he was 33 years old, but he said he wanted her and he also said he was an optionalist. I was happy to be able to make him happy by showing him I was an optionalist too. Some may say this is a social issue, but optionalism works with so-called social issues as well as economic issues dealing with money.  I asked him if he wanted my wife too and he said he would get back to me on that.

Well, I’ve explained my philosophy to you and hope you see the feelings that go into holding to it. Please abandon reality as the realists define it.  It only makes people unhappy who can’t understand it.  Remember, REALITY IS OPTIONAL!

----explained by Kenny Wolf, a reality optionalist
February 18, 2003